Long time

So it's been forever and three days since I blogged. inspiring.

I don't know what it is with commitments - professional and personal. When I have my boss breathing down my neck asking for regular status updates, I kinda start doing the work after I'm tired of making up activities that I could use as an excuse for all the time that had passed until then (facebooking and gtalking - no doubt). But when it comes to my own blog, I don't catch myself being pressurised into writing anything. In fact it works the other way - I'm lazy to the point where I wish thought recognition (akin to speech recognition) would just read up and publish straight from my head, so I wouldn't have to be involved at a deeper level :P

What's been happening all this while? A lot - got married, moved to Bangalore, changed companies. Still do the same work, have the same friends, talk a lot in the cubicle and don't blog for a living.

I probably lift more than just a finger now at home thanks to the newly married status. (all of 1 year). I don't know how becoming that is for an indian daughter-in-law, to only be able to make an endless supply of coffee every day and the occasional roti that's occasionally round. But then I'm not sure that's my "true calling" so I could just give that a pass. Also noticed that all my kiddo friends have joined the bandwagon and decided to get married. Some of them blog about what they cook everyday - I find this helpful but alas, it only ends in my imagination where I fry that last fritter, drizzle olive oil over some grilled aubergine or watch everyone lick their lips in appreciation of my stupendofantabulous gajar ka halwa. Not happened yet - and not happening by the looks of it.

Then there was the time I tried being regular at music classes again. That went well for a year - I joined the group, we practised and performed for a couple of shows and I got accolades for all the potential talent I possessed. I also realised that there was considerable effort required if I wanted to get serious at this. Something I wasn't sure I could give time to. Sometimes you don't want to be so serious at a hobby. Sometimes it's a hobby that you actually resort to when all else has bored you beyond comprehension and you turn to the hobby to provide some respite. The last thing you expect is for the hobby to turn around and tell you take it seriously. I'm still in the middle of making that vital decision - Do I want to be this super duper IT professional who also aces at carnatic music and gives tens of concerts every year? Do i want to just relax and let music help me transition to a higher level of bliss - something that can still be achieved without taking it that seriously?

I think it all boils down to just one fact. None of us appreciate anything or anyone controlling our lives. We all want to be the free balloons that float high up in the sky - no strings attached - literally :) We want to do what we want to do, at our own pace, for ourselves and a few people around us. We dont like being dictated to, we don't want anyone to decide life's course for us. Fair enough. Some amount of karma does catch up however to get that balloon stuck in a tree. And the more you try to get away, the higher the chances of you bursting. The best thing would be to disentangle urself carefully from each branch everytime, making sure not to hurt urself and then moving on.

This is probably a good time for me to start putting my life in an MPP - the dreaded project plan. Maybe I need to organize the clutter, prioritise, label and mark, save and discard, breathe down my own neck for status updates and see if the timelines are met. Cos I just realised, that apart from your parents no one really cares about charting your life. And once you're out of their clutches and into the real world, you're in the driver's seat. Zoom!!